Dig Your Chili

(note: thank you JAN for the title of this post, wouldn't want to be accused of stealing ;) Ok grafts.  It is one of those words that you hope you never encounter in your life.  I think it ranks up there with enema in terms of Whoo - hoo - ness .  I just found out that my implants (now that is a word that I love to say because people automatically look at my tits!) (dental implants) are not behaving the way proper good little healing implants should.   Apparently I have one tooth that just refuses to play ball and in fact is such a bastard that it is not just "not healing" it has decided to LOSE bone density.  I have a month to grow some bone on that side of my mouth or else I have to have a bone graft.  And I am assuming that the bone that is grafted into my mouth comes from somewhere in my body?  Probably a good question to ask the DR - but I am pretty sure they are not going to remove my femur in order to plug a hole in my mouth.  But maybe I am wrong and I will actua

Yep that's right. Bitter. Which coincidentally rhymes with Shitter which is where my NON EXISTENT love life is at the moment. So what Bitter- fied me? Jan goes on her first date post divorce and the guy texted her after the date to tell her he had a good time and wants to see her again. Now I LOVE Jan to death (even when we both leave the bathroom doors open while peeing and I can see her sitting on the pot, via the circa 1980 mirrored closet doors that she has in the bathroom!) But I have been on about, oh I don't know, A BAJILLION dates and .... NOTHING. Cooties. It has to be cooties. I must have them and guys know it. Shit. Guess it is time to get back to the bathroom mirror (no sickos ... not to watch Jan pee) but to practice "I am a precious treasure" over and over and over until hell - maybe I'll want to date myself.

At the end of my last counseling session my counselor asked me to do an affirmation. Now I am not a big fan of the affirmation. While there are probably countless studies and evidence to conclude that the affirmation does actually work to bolster ones self esteem, I can think of nothing more douche-baggy than telling my self in the mirror that I am GREAT. (Yes total mental image of good old Stuary Smalley ). But being that I am paying good money to confirm that I am in fact nutso and beyond all hope, I decided to play along with the counselor. She asked me to say "I am a precious treasure". Harmless enough until I get hung up on the word precious and immediately think of Precious Moments figurines. To which I start laughing like a hyena (pretty much literally sad to say) and can't get another word out without giggles. So now when I think of affirmations all I can think of is "I am a precious moments figurine". Not quite what my counselor was going for I suspec

For those of you who know me - you probably know where this is going (that is if you even know this blog exists!). Why am I so attracted to the letter J? And why after a HALF a year do I even care about the letter J? Damn the J and the remnants of some fabulous chemistry. I miss the letter J and that makes me want to poke both of my own eyes out with a dull spoon. But "love" is blind, right? Or is "love" just really psychotic and needs to up its meds ?