Postmarked with Love

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Do you ever wish you could turn back time (in a Cher kinda way of course) - and impart all of your hard gained wisdom to your younger self? Well you can't. But I have decided to play the "what if" game and talk to 20 year old Marg. Enjoy or cringe or both.



Dear Twenty Year Old Marg,

You are a fucking idiot. Put down that slice of pizza and start working out. Your 40 year old atrophied muscles will appreciate that. You feel that you have the whole world ahead of you - you don't. Don't waste your time with college. It sounds really great now - but trust me you will keep going and going and going to get degrees that you will not use and bring zero sense of accomplishment. Go to cosmetology school - become a hairdresser.  Or go become a nurse - its what you will want to do. And know that you will have the same hairstyle for the next 20 years - but its ok because it still looks pretty cool.

And I apologize for the fucking idiot comment - 40 year old Marg is kinda a bitch to herself. Start learning to love yourself. You have some amazing things to offer this world. One of the most important pieces of advice I can give you is DON'T LET DUDES DEFINE YOUR SELF WORTH. You will meet a lot of guys over your years. Most of them will not deserve you. Go watch the Joy Luck Club a million times if you have to but always remember "You top quality".

Learn to snag a guy with your humor, wit and charm - not with sex. It never works well for you. (I mean don't get me wrong you are awesome at it .... and I appreciate your commitment to honing our skills ....) But sex does not equal love, EVER.

Spend some time getting to know your parents as people. They are actually pretty cool. And you will miss the hell outta them when they are gone. Spend time getting to know your sisters as well - they are only moderately cool (ha!) but they will get your back when you make REALLY horrible life choices. You have a good family. Don't dwell on petty childhood differences.

Life is hard. Life is amazing. Life hurts. But learn to love every moment of it. You only get one (unless you believe in reincarnation and since I don't you don't because I am you... only wrinklier and more bitter)

You will be OK, little Boo. Wish we could have been better but since I am not writing this from the afterlife then we still have time. Seriously though start working out. You spend a lot of days with the elderly and you will regret not lifting weights!!

Love your old ass self,
Marg

PS When you get a dog named Otis -DO NOT LET HIM NEAR CATS! He is an idiot and will lose an eye. For reals. You get an idiot dog. But he is adorable and grows on you.




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