Affirmations Smafirmations

-


At the end of my last counseling session my counselor asked me to do an affirmation. Now I am not a big fan of the affirmation. While there are probably countless studies and evidence to conclude that the affirmation does actually work to bolster ones self esteem, I can think of nothing more douche-baggy than telling my self in the mirror that I am GREAT. (Yes total mental image of good old Stuary Smalley).


But being that I am paying good money to confirm that I am in fact nutso and beyond all hope, I decided to play along with the counselor. She asked me to say "I am a precious treasure". Harmless enough until I get hung up on the word precious and immediately think of Precious Moments figurines. To which I start laughing like a hyena (pretty much literally sad to say) and can't get another word out without giggles.


So now when I think of affirmations all I can think of is "I am a precious moments figurine". Not quite what my counselor was going for I suspect. But I guess there are worse things than comparing oneself to those freakishly adorable kiddos with big tear drop eyes.



Comments

  1. AmyDecember 10, 2008 at 7:24 PM

    You are a precious moment. You are. Just say the words - "I am a precious moment." Now you'd better figure out how to make your forehead a whole lot bigger if you want to look like one of those creepy little figurines...

    ReplyDelete
  2. LuckyDecember 10, 2008 at 7:56 PM

    I have already scheduled the surgery! Precious moments here I come :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Bitter .... Party of 1 your table is now available.

-
Yep that's right. Bitter. Which coincidentally rhymes with Shitter which is where my NON EXISTENT love life is at the moment. So what Bitter- fied me? Jan goes on her first date post divorce and the guy texted her after the date to tell her he had a good time and wants to see her again. Now I LOVE Jan to death (even when we both leave the bathroom doors open while peeing and I can see her sitting on the pot, via the circa 1980 mirrored closet doors that she has in the bathroom!) But I have been on about, oh I don't know, A BAJILLION dates and .... NOTHING. Cooties. It has to be cooties. I must have them and guys know it. Shit. Guess it is time to get back to the bathroom mirror (no sickos ... not to watch Jan pee) but to practice "I am a precious treasure" over and over and over until hell - maybe I'll want to date myself.
Read more

I don't know which is worse .. being poor or being poor and having to move

-
This weekend was moving weekend. But being that I don't have $5 to my name Jan and I had to move my enormous amounts of crap without the aid of movers. Needless to say it sucked. But we got it done and I think Jan will only really lose one arm to some gangrene infection -- and come on Jan ... two arms? Aren't you being a bit selfish there -- one is perfectly ok. So now I am out of the apartment and into the new house (which is still not finished ...) My new room is about the size of a postage stamp. Which if I look on the bright side means less cleaning ... however, I can see into Jan's room while lounging on my bed. Awkward? I think so. Also, my bathroom is right outside of Jan's bedroom -- meaning my 3 a.m. bathroom runs are not so private anymore. The other night I actually held it as to not wake Jan up with my urination. But I am sensing a whole string of UTI's from improper bladder usage - so maybe Depends or a chamber pot are in order. It has been a...
Read more