Its Tuesday. Im bored and kind of sick. Just thought I'd share. However, I am still a secret blessing. Thanks to Jan for the little owl/chicken/cotton ball (??) card thingy to post.
Yep that's right. Bitter. Which coincidentally rhymes with Shitter which is where my NON EXISTENT love life is at the moment. So what Bitter- fied me? Jan goes on her first date post divorce and the guy texted her after the date to tell her he had a good time and wants to see her again. Now I LOVE Jan to death (even when we both leave the bathroom doors open while peeing and I can see her sitting on the pot, via the circa 1980 mirrored closet doors that she has in the bathroom!) But I have been on about, oh I don't know, A BAJILLION dates and .... NOTHING. Cooties. It has to be cooties. I must have them and guys know it. Shit. Guess it is time to get back to the bathroom mirror (no sickos ... not to watch Jan pee) but to practice "I am a precious treasure" over and over and over until hell - maybe I'll want to date myself.
Do you ever wish you could turn back time (in a Cher kinda way of course) - and impart all of your hard gained wisdom to your younger self? Well you can't. But I have decided to play the "what if" game and talk to 20 year old Marg. Enjoy or cringe or both. Dear Twenty Year Old Marg, You are a fucking idiot. Put down that slice of pizza and start working out. Your 40 year old atrophied muscles will appreciate that. You feel that you have the whole world ahead of you - you don't. Don't waste your time with college. It sounds really great now - but trust me you will keep going and going and going to get degrees that you will not use and bring zero sense of accomplishment. Go to cosmetology school - become a hairdresser. Or go become a nurse - its what you will want to do. And know that you will have the same hairstyle for the next 20 years - but its ok because it still looks pretty cool. And I apologize for the fucking idiot comment - 40 year old Marg is kin
(note: thank you JAN for the title of this post, wouldn't want to be accused of stealing ;) Ok grafts. It is one of those words that you hope you never encounter in your life. I think it ranks up there with enema in terms of Whoo - hoo - ness . I just found out that my implants (now that is a word that I love to say because people automatically look at my tits!) (dental implants) are not behaving the way proper good little healing implants should. Apparently I have one tooth that just refuses to play ball and in fact is such a bastard that it is not just "not healing" it has decided to LOSE bone density. I have a month to grow some bone on that side of my mouth or else I have to have a bone graft. And I am assuming that the bone that is grafted into my mouth comes from somewhere in my body? Probably a good question to ask the DR - but I am pretty sure they are not going to remove my femur in order to plug a hole in my mouth. But maybe I am wrong and I will actua
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